Bye Bye Boys!! I'm Going to Love On Myself....
I mean I’m going to take a minute and call myself out here. My dating life has been some what comical and almost unreal in the most entertaining of ways. I legit am considering ghost writing a book on my experiences. That isn’t even the call out on myself the real call out is that I am a serial dater. I have brief spurts of singledom. My heart has had the opportunity to fall and break and mend so many times. Some of these relationships have been so great and have taught me so much. Others have been 100 percent toxic and should have been abandoned sooner than later. You know the old adage hindsight is 20/20. We live, we learn, we forgive ourselves, and try not to live life on repeat.
The hypocrisy of my compulsive need to be in a relationship is that I like to consider myself a very independent person. In a way, yes, I am very independent. The real issue at hand was that I hadn’t yet fallen head over heals for myself. Without self acceptance there was an emptiness that yearned for fulfillment. That void sent me hell bent on temporally filling it with the acceptance and “love” of another. I knew this to be my truth. Yet time and time again I preached to others that they needed to love themselves first, but I never embodied my own message. Fuck That Nonsense! The time has come for me to own my shit and stop running from myself.
For the first time in the history of ever (my 30 years of life) I am feeling my heart open up. Has it been open before? Sure has, but only for another. Some of those others were totally worthy and others not so much ( all f*ck Boyz please stand up). What I feel occurring now is a deeper acceptance and connection to myself. For the first time I am falling in love with me, myself, and I. Huge shifts are happening in me. I feel them in a very subtle way but they are reverberating throughout all areas of my life . I without a doubt believe that this magic is directly related to the commitment to my meditation practice as of late.
Haha now don’t get it twisted I’m not without moments of negative self doubting chatter in my brain. However, what has changed, is my ability to control that naysaying bitch. For real though! I have to give it to Anna, whether she knows it or not, she plays a huge role in this transformation. She has been on a Kundalini Mediation kick, which in turn has inspired me to start practicing Kundalini Mediation.
Actually, she recently did a great Kundalini Mediation post with a how to video on the Intrepid Hearts Youtube Channel. If you haven’t seen it then check it. She gives you three great mediation practices each one taking a minimum of 3 minutes. That is right you have no bullshit excuse because we can all find three minutes.
So for the last 2 months I have without fail ( ok I can think of one or two days that I missed) practiced the same Kundalini Kriya that is specifically for cultivating Self Love and Releasing Fear . I'm telling you it is probably one of my greatest investments in time I have ever made for myself. A month into daily practice I was legit glowing. Slowly and steadily I felt myself wanting more and more to honor my own space, time, and commitments to myself. For the first time I was content in just truly focusing on myself rather then looking outward. Now again, I’ve focused on myself before but I feel like it was more of an act. How do I know this time is different? Well for one, others have noticed and made comment on this sudden change in me. I have had more then a few people make comment as to this being the happiest they have ever seen me. I legit get that I am "glowing" all the time. This is usually followed up with a side eye glance and the exclamation “YOUR NOT PREGNANT ARE YOU?” After the relief of hearing that I am a thousand percent sure that I am not, the next question tends to be “So who is the guy?” Yea, no not this time. This time no guy needed for the glow just ME LOVING ME💕
The Kriya that I have been practicing for almost two months now is called Reverse Adi Shakti Kriya. With this Kriya you are mentally and hypnotically blessing yourself. This self-blessing is to affect and correct the magnetic field and it is said that doing this exercise will hurt if you have a lot of anger. Self-help is very difficult for those who are angry. Check out this how to video to see how it's done!
Crystals For Meditation
rose Aura Quartz
The unique frequency of Rose Aura Quartz works on your pineal gland and Heart Chakra to transmute deeply rooted doubts about your self-worth into the gift of unconditional love of yourself – as well as connecting you to the powerful energy of Universal love. This is the perfect crystal for anyone who has suffered from body image issues, abuse or who has been deserted or rejected in love.
The dynamic yet gentle energy of Rose Aura Quartz is uplifting yet not overwhelming.
Selenite is a soothing stone that helps relieve anxiety and tension in the body, while opening up the mind and making the user more alert. This combination is great for meditation, self-hypnosis, yoga and other similar practices.